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30-06-22 8:50pm
i didn't forget i promise

hi..! i noticed it's been a while since the last time i wrote an update here. there's not much happening in my life right now so no exciting news. i've been busy with a couple things here and there but other than that it's just been a whole lot of video games. i got so anxious today out of the blue. i could feel this small thought in my head snowballing and snowballing to the point where it felt like the most important thing in the world and i couldn't think about anything else. why did god make anxiety an emotion. ugh. i know it'll be fine. i just need to stop being so afraid of life.

i have so many ideas for things that i don't know where to start. all of it is so abstract in my brain that i don't know how to turn them into tangible things and it's so hard to stay motivated. i know i won't get anywhere by only acting upon my ideas during random energy spikes and yet i continue to sit here and waste my precious seconds. and deep down, i'm afraid of the outside world and what they will think. i don't know why i care about it so much. aren't i doing it for myself..? but the validation would be nice... no, we don't need that. ok. sorry. that was the two parts of my brain arguing. curse this world and everything in it.

but hi. i'm still here, just a bit preoccupied. please hold the line while i get my shit together.