there's literal lightning bolts going off in the sky and i'm supposed to just see that and go on with my day like it's a normal thing? OKAY. i've been reading a lot lately about people losing their minds in nature, even very experienced professionals. it's crazy that it can just so easily break a mind like that. we are surrounded by this magnificent untamable THING all the time and we don't even take a second to think about how crazy that is. i live in a big city so i don't have much experience being face to face with nature, maybe that's why it is both my biggest fear and my biggest fascination. if i wasn't so deathly afraid of it i would like to go deep sea diving one day, or explore a forest or a really big ice cave, take notes on everything i see and make a long documentary about it all. this thunderstorm is making me want to strip naked and run away from everything i know, climb a mountain, lay on the grass, cover myself with dirt and let the earth swallow me. yes it is four in the morning i'm glad you asked.