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10-05-22 11:26am
hungry, bored, want to go home

hello again. second post! woo!

life is kind of weird right now. not bad necessarily, just... weird. it's been weird since the last time i wrote here. i stayed over at my friend's house on sunday, we played games and watched movies and did sleepover things and it was fun. i also spent most of the day after that with her and came home in the late evening, exhausted from all the socializing, but when another friend asked if we could talk for a bit, i couldn't say no. that night, after we hung up, i just broke down.

i was making a playlist, and i guess going through old songs combined with the fact that it was 2am and i was already very tired did something to my brain and i broke. maybe i will write more about it sometime later. these used to be a monthly thing, as if it was on a schedule, i could even predict sometimes when the next one was going to happen... but it hadn't happened in a long time. i don't know why they were happening, i don't know why they stopped, and i'm not too sure what made it happen again that night. you know how sometimes everything hits at once?

after that whole thing there was a national holiday so i didn't go to school that week. i didn't go to school, so of course that meant i didn't go outside at all, didn't even shower because i didn't feel the need to. maybe it was a necessary break but i really was starting to feel like a sloth person by the end of it. on saturday, i decided to not sleep, and on sunday, i felt like a new person. the all-nighter i pulled felt like a new beginning, as silly as that might sound to you. like a spiritual reset. i'll probably also write more on that later. but... that was this week. it's left me feeling weird in a way i don't know how to describe.

the lecture is almost over now so i'll just continue when the next one starts. that will be in an hour or two but for you it's right there below. weird to think about it. okay bye. :wave:

next class, 1:56pm
hungry (still) but not as bored

i like this class. it's one of the few classes i actually enjoy and find interesting. right now we are just looking at translated book covers and comparing them to the originals and having a discussion and it's actually really fun. what's weird and kind of funny is that there is an active yoga lesson or something going on outside, in the grassy area where most university activities take place, there's calming yoga music playing very loudly and a woman's voice shouting through loudspeakers giving instructions: "take a deep breath... now hold it for five seconds... calmly exhale..." as we continue on with our class. very strange. but we are ignoring it.

during my hour long break i just walked around and ate the apple i had brought with me in a little ziplock bag. i also ate one in the morning as a quick snack before class so i guess i am the type of person that eats two apples a day now. but really, i am trying to eat healthier - i made that decision the other day during my sleep deprivation enduced enlightenment, the one that i briefly mentioned. after i ate my apple i returned back to campus and on my way to the arts faculty i saw a cigarette on the ground that someone probably dropped, and guess what, i picked it up and now it's mine. i don't plan on smoking it (i don't smoke, never have) but i just felt like i should pick it up for some reason. i put it in the ziplock bag where the apple used to be. maybe that's a subtle symbolism from the universe... out goes the apple and in goes the cigarette. do you think that means anything? should i smoke the ground cigarette? maybe i should add comments to these posts.

well, i think that's all for now. the lecture is coming to an end and i believe i got everything i wanted to say out, soooo... i'll talk to you later. thank you if you take the time to actually read these entries. we should get coffee sometime.