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05-11-22 1:03am
mind in a body

(another) tiring week. everything has been piling up making me tired tired tired and i just ignore it and keep going because i have to but at some point it's too much and then i have to deal with all of that tiredness at the same time. i feel like a plant. i feel like a snail. i feel like grass in a park that people step on. i feel like i am just floating through this world, i feel like i'm dreaming, things are not right but i'm the only one noticing it. i feel like i'm in a tv show or a theater play and all i can do is play my role. i'm sure there's also a laugh track that is inaudible to me. simply existing as a human being day to day takes so much out of me and i can't tell if i have a real problem or if i'm being whiny and just need to get over it. maybe it's because i haven't been getting enough sleep. but it's impossible to get enough sleep. aaahh. this semester feels like a test of my endurance. song of the night is lonely day by system of a down.