today i felt kind of bad and mad and sad (wow, isn't it crazy that those are all very similar words?) and here's a list of why i think that was...

- reason one: i woke up at noon. now this wouldn't be something that i would feel bad about normally, but lately i've had a pretty good sleep schedule and i try to not wake up after like 10, 11 at most. so when i wake up after 12 i just immediately feel like i've already wasted soo much time. though if i sleep for 12 hours it's clearly because my body needed it... so i guess i shouldn't feel bad for giving my body what it needs. right? right!

- reason two: i started listening to this semester's lectures first thing after i woke up and did not take any breaks. i listened to more than 7 hours worth of lectures, sped up, in about three and a half hours. i thought if i took a break i wouldn't be able to pick it up again and finish it so i was like, i have got to do this in one go. that wasn't smart! i felt very very bad at the end of it.

- reason three: because i took no breaks, i also didn't eat anything until like 6pm... except a bowl of fruits that i ate when i woke up which was very yummy. apple, orange and strawberries. also i decided that my favorite fruit is orange. it's just so juicy and great. my favorite color is also orange. isn't that funny! anyway back to the reasons!

- reason four: so... before i could eat i had to take midnight to the vet... and as i was trying to put her in the carrier she jumped and scratched at my throat! ouch, right! i'm not mad at her because i understand why, but still! i hope i don't get a cat transmitted disease or something. you know those news headlines that are like "cat scratch hospitalizes man forever". anyway... the vet said that the ringworm on her ear is basically cleared so that's one good thing i guess. i don't remember if i've mentioned here that she had ringworm... i don't even know if i've mentioned that i have a cat... well now you know! here's an image that i posted on tumblr about it on the 3rd of march:

ringwormed :(

- reason five: i had a cringe moment with the vet! arghh... ok here's how it went...

(conversation between me, my dad, and the vet)
(to set the tone: my dad was also with me because he drives me to the vet. ok. and at this point i had already mentioned in a jokingly manner that midnight had scratched my neck. this exchange occured as we are about to leave.)
my dad: should we apply anything on that or what?
the vet: (thinking that he's asking about midnight's ringwormed ear) oh... no it's fine, it's pretty much cleared anyway.
*a few seconds of awkward silence*
me: (dying inside, thinking why would he ask that) alright well... *turns to leave*
my dad: oh i meant... *gestures at me*
the vet: oh... um... just keep it clean, i guess.
me: (visibly cringing) okay thank you. *turns to leave again*
*cringing all the way to the car*

oh my god!!! i don't know why it was so cringe to me but it was, it truly was so very cringe! agggghh!!

- reason six: i tripped. yep. we got home and at this point i was so hungry and so cringed out and so over it and i just wanted to eat and take a shower and relax. then i tripped on something. my god. why do these things only happen when you're already in a bad mood. it might seem like i'm overreacting but i have more reasons ok! i'm pmsing (secret reason one) (i know! classic woman excuse! but it really affects me a lot!) and my exams start next week so i'm stressed on top of it (secret reason two). so every little thing that goes wrong makes me want to scream and break something.

so that's all my reasons. it might not seem like a lot to you but it was enough to make me break down in the shower. i think it was a needed breakdown because i felt much better afterwards... but that might have also been because it had been a couple of days since my last shower (secret reason three). you know how it is when you feel like a little grime creature. then i ate some yummy food that my mom had made and basically i was back to happy mode. if i was a sims character you could have seen all my needs bars fill up and turn from red to green. then i turned in another assignment and watched some youtube videos and now i'm typing this. hi. i'm going to make something else to eat now and then play some video games and then go to sleeeep. to be repeated tomorrow. but tomorrow will be better than this. i know it.

i know this is a long post but i want to mention some more things that have happened since the last time i wrote, so here goes. umm... my brother bleached his hair. yeah. it's very orange and funny looking but he says he likes it so who am i to say anything. another thing is that i've decided to start watching what i eat a little bit more. i've really let myself go in terms of my diet in the last couple of months and consequently gained a couple kilos which isn't making me feel too great. so yeah. watching what i eat. though i've already failed... by eating donuts... two days in a row. (hiding in shame) agghh i know. i'm telling myself it's just pms cravings and i'm not weak for caving but we all know the truth. my willpower is simply not that strong. i think my favorite desert is donuts. you've learned three favorites of mine in this one post. don't you feel like you know more about me now? woah. deja vu.