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11-10-23 10:15am
it's me, the lonely translation student

hey um. me again. part two. i think i've developed a caffeine addiction. F*CK! all this time i thought i was so much better than all those people with their morning coffees. look at me now. i feel like i'm missing something when i'm not warming my hands carrying around a cup of coffee that's too hot to drink. it's my second week of school and it's already so so so difficult to get myself out of bed in the morning. life is hard... so hard... but wait, i like it! i'm taking 8 classes this semester and it's a mess but i'm kind of enjoying the chaos. i'm going to make a plan for all my classes on my lunch break today and start listening to an audiobook this evening to pick a page to translate for my literary translation class. also need to go over what we've done so far in russian + german and read the first chapter of my history textbook and compare it to the notes i've taken during class. I LIKE THIS! doing things! busy schedule! yess! i love that i have my fridays off though. relax chill day. three day weekend. i think i'm going to go to the library with my friend this weekend and study with her. ermm. yeah. pushing up my nerd glasses.

speaking of friends... i have one now. i already had one but now i have a new one. that makes TWO. i met her in my german class and she's reaaally cool. i'm going to refer to her as my "german friend" for now even though she's not german. so, my german friend, she's the only real friend i've made so far in university. god got tired of watching me mope around for the past two years and threw a new side character into my life (thank you). i feel a lot more comfortable in school this year. my first two years i would immediately run away after a class ended, waste time walking around being weird, and then walk back to campus right before my next class started. i guess i thought that people would judge me for being by myself? so i hid. i'm still by myself most days, except monday cause that's when i have german, but i'm now comfortable with it. huge. i ate alone at the cafeteria today and it was fine. i've realized literally no one thinks twice about me and that's a good thing. even if they do, who cares! why did i spend so much time caring! i've found a couple spots where i can hang out and not really be bothered by too many people. i'm also getting back into the habit of eating regularly again, so i've come up with a couple options for what to eat during my lunch breaks. i've started writing about this whole food thing but i have a lot more to say on it than i initially thought so it's taking a while. it'll be its own separate post once i finish it. part three. yep!

what else?! i have new boots now. if you're a long time soapville blog entries reader you might know about the toxic relationship i was in with my boots for the longest time. i thought it's time i break out of it. i like my new boots. comfy and cool and edgy but not too much. i cut my bangs again. pretty short this time. i like it. i need to find time to start swimming again but it seems impossible. i went to the doctor last weekend because of the whole weight thing... again, i'm writing about it... had a couple tests done and now i'm waiting till saturday to go see the doctor again to discuss my results. i can already predict how it'll go. he will tell me that i seem perfectly fine, maybe i should start taking vitamin d and b12, but other than that, my problems are psychological and not physical. i had a stressful period and now i'm out of it. shrimple as that. but maybe not. maybe i'm speaking too soon. who knows. the doctor. OK. all in all, i'm happy. i feel like i've entered a new period in my life this past month but it's all good changes and no regrets. it seems that everything that happens ends up being what's best for me always. even things that don't initially look like it. maybe i'm one of god's favorites after all. i love my boyfriend. i made him a playlist and he liked it and i'm happy. there's 6 hours between us now which SUCKS but it's ok. i love my headphones. i think i would die without them. i'll end this post with a poem that i wrote about how much i love my headphones on the 6th of march this year.

my headphones
do so much for me
(natural ear protection from the cold)
(allows me to listen to cool musics)
(keeps me safe
from all the noises of the world)
i <3 my headphones
my headphones save my life
every single day
i'm so lucky that such a device
is available in my time
you and i
we can save the world
connected by music
so let's listen TOGETHER...
from our headphones.

i hope you liked my poem. i hope you frame it in your hoem. later.