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18-05-22 7:54pm
feelings

today was a weird day. i walked to the bus stop with the wind blowing the rain towards me, my head down and my lungs burning. i felt like crying but didn't, i crossed the street, and i made sure to pass by the right side of the tree. i witnessed a man almost get run over by a car and thought about how that could have been me. i thought, if it had been me, i would have just curled up in a ball on the sidewalk and cried and cried until someone stopped me. then i got on the crowded bus and zoned out for the next forty minutes. i like crowded busses. it makes me feel like i'm a part of an ant colony. i speedwalked the twenty minute walk home in ten minutes, and when i finally stepped into the apartment building, an old friend i hadn't seen in months was waiting for me at the stairs leading up to the elevators. i think she recognized me as well. i could tell from the fact that her tail was straight up, too friendly and trusting of me for a random stray cat.

calico!

she did circles around me, i pet her a bit, then went upstairs to get her some food. she ate the wet food i gave her so quickly and ate so much of it that i got worried she would get sick and throw up. as she was eating i went outside and stood in the rain, i looked at the sky and the trees and the leaves on the ground, and for just that moment, life felt beautiful and full of meaning again. hehe.